1st official day of FREEDOM!!!

That's right, don't you all love it whilst you're at uni, i'm just lazing around doing nothing at all? I mean i could even go to your unis and just mess around doing nothing and there'll be nothing stopping me? Don't you just love it? I sure do hehehe. I'm finally able to just relax, well more let go slightly of stuff. After saturday, i can seriously let go.

Not that much has happened today really. Been just bumming around. Well i did go over to Sarah's as i said yesterday and yes i did talk to Claire about stuff. Alex and Jess also came by just to catch-up on stuff with me. Even thought i live really close to Sarah, i haven't been to her place in like quite a few weeks, so yeah people decided to come over just to see how i was and all. Yes i did get smacked from everyone just 'cause of my rubbing in. It was well deserved. It was worth the expressions.

But yeah the kinda important thing that happened today was that Claire and i talked, and seriously talked. Yeah i know i decided to be serious for once and all so yeah. But there was alot of emotions and thoughts that we've both bottled up for quite a while and even as far back as the time we first met. There was alotta stuff that was cleared up about the time when i was going out with Stacie. I had no idea that some people thought that i was a dickhead since it looked like i was going to two-time or something like that. I mean sure i thought that they thought that i was going to dump Stacie and go with Claire. That i can understand. But thinking that i was a dickhead just by being who i am. Well i guess i was with the wrong crowd then.

Some stuff was hilarious, like there actually was a love triangle with some people, but from that triangle, the two chics had no idea that the dude they liked was already going out with someone and just saw both of them as friends, even though they were getting "touchy". This is year 9 as well, which makes it even more hilarious. But alot of stuff that happened then was brought back and we just got stuff settled. Just going back on the past and all was ok. Then the more serious stuff came, the stuff that's going on now. Yeah we know what we feel for each other, and we both respect our positions. The other 3 also heard our stuff and yeah they just commented on what was happening with us and it was a good session.

We got the 3 of them just to put themselves in our shoes and really experience what was going on with our lives. The big problem though is the fact that i have no idea what i want. So i guess that's what i have to figure out. Everyone there understood each other and what they're going through. For example, Alex, right now his parents and his bro aren't on the best of terms. Don't really want to go into details of what's going on, but thing is for him, he's just taking the wrath of his parents, since his parents and his bro aren't on talking terms right now. I mean i've been in a few situations where i haven't been on speaking terms with my parents, but this situation isn't anything like i've ever been in. This is bad, like really, really bad. It's been 2 weeks, and still nothing. But he just takes his parents crap that they've bottled up. He understands that it's not their fault for what's going on, he's just the scapegoat. He takes it 'cause he knows that it's not meant for him, but his parents do need to just unwind somehow and taking their anger out on him seems to do the trick so he's letting them.

Jess is in a sticky situation with some guy called Brad and his woman, Rachel. She's in quite a few of Brad's classes and all and they've been getting to know each other pretty damn well. Rachel's becoming jealous, well we think, and she doesn't want Brad to see Jess. That's what Brad told Jess and she stood back and let it go, but keeps bumping into Brad anyway, so they just chill and talk. They don't mean to see each other, but it just happens. She's been sitting away from him in lectures and tutes in respect of Rachel's demanding comments. But yeah she's like me - as in she doesn't know what she wants. She doesn't want to steal him, even thought she could, but she thinks that Brad sees her more like a really close friend more than anything else. Rachel just doesn't seem to think so, so can't help it. So that's Jess' situation.

Sarah, well since the break-up, she's been pretty cool about it. It's still hurting her a bit 'cause she never saw it coming. We didn't either. She's been coping with it really well and she let it all go today and yeah told us some stuff that i'm not going to mention here. It's pretty personal to her, the stuff she told all of us, and yeah i respect that by not posting it here. But since the break-up, she's had the most stable life out of all of us. She does have the same routine week after week, but it's the most stable life. Wendy, Tim, Cara and a few others would have a life as stable as Sarah. I definitely envy her of her life right now. I mean sure basically everyone wants what i have right now, but it's not simple. I miss the simple life, where i could do anything at all without any consequences. Where life was predictable and just stable. No surprises, even thought i like them, nothing out of the ordinary. But yeah with Sarah it's just been pretty quiet.

Really that's all that happened today. Just need to figure some stuff out right now and i'll be ok. It'll take some time to figure stuff out, but yeah i guess it'll be all worth it in the end. Just really need to figure out what i really want.

Anyway, nothing's happening tomorrow, apart from organising the church thing, which i still have to do today as well. I can't wait till saturday's over. It'll be the best. I can seriously let go of everything. Life will be simpler, but not simple. I can't wait...