Pressure...

I'm not feeling it just yet, but i know it's there and yeah i know where it's coming from. Well i'm feeling it, but not that much, and yeah now that it is crunch time, it's only going to get worse.

Today, just been doing a bit of accounting work and qma. I'm online to do qmb and just now Thanda messages me to tell me that she can't come online to do it. Well she has been sick recently and it's not her fault that she was i guess, but yeah oh well. I'll have to tell Ricky that we can't do it again, but yeah we'll just do it separately then. But yeah apart from that it hasn't really been that much of a productive day.

For once i didn't go over to Sarah's on a thursday so yeah it's a sign for me. But yeah i guess i need to in order to concentrate. That's my next goal - to try and not get distracted, and get more time out of a day, so yeah i don't think i'll be blogging as much next few weeks. But yeah it happens i guess.

There is something which has happened, which i've told some people and has been mentioned here, even thought there's *somehow* no more commentary by my sadistically influenced friends. It has been taking quite a bit of my time, but yeah it's something that hopefully i've dealt with and all, but yeah i'll try and keep this brief.

What happened was that there's a girl from my past that came back. She was my ex's best friend before she left. Yeah we got talking alot and people thought many things when i was going out with my ex. Everyone who knew the 3 of us thought we were getting extremely "friendly" and stuff like that. For those who do know what i'm on about, there's no way i would have done that. What i mean is i wouldn't have done what you all were saying that i would do. But yeah my ex and i broke and stuff and then this girl and i kept talking alot. Skipping a few bits, eventually, we actually lost contact 'cause in the space of 2 weeks, she moved, then i moved so yeah there wasn't a way to keep in contact.

Then, at Tim's party last month, she gate-crashed the party, but actually knew Sarah and a few other people there so it wasn't like totally random. But yeah when i saw her, i didn't think it was her, then we both had that look where it's like you're saying "Hey i know you from somewhere". It was that kinda look. Then yeah it was her and we got talking, and talked for a while and stuff, but yeah it was alright then, and after that party, we got in contact again and caught up on a bit of stuff that's been happening. We've still got ages before we can truly say we've caught up and stuff. So yeah it's seems like we've been friends for the past 3 years, when in actual fact we haven't spoken a word to each other for that long, but it just seems that way.

Then one day, i got some info off Sarah which i'd like not to discuss right here, but yeah it changed my whole perspective and it took me by surprise, since i had no idea that she was thinking that way again. So yeah it's not that complicated, but yeah with that, it has messed up a few things and stuff. It's just that the timing of what she's said and all that has taken me by surprise. What she said has something that does impact on myself and a few other people as well, but yeah really with that i can't say what we've done after that, it's a delicate issue.

I can say that because of that and a few other things, i have made a decision that is stubborn, possibly stupid, but probably the best thing for me right now. It has a greater impact and affects me even more in the future than a previous decision i made. I mean that decision that i did make before, which i'm still sticking to at the moment, i thought i made that out of my own best interests, which it was. I just didn't expect to have a huge consequence/impact on myself. I guess it's just taught me that anything can happen so that i shouldn't be prepared as such. Not that i shouldn't be prepared, but more like i should be open to any and all possibilities. I just hope i'm up for what i'm doing...

Anyway, it's just a thing on my mind. It's been distracting and yeah it has added to the pressure i'm facing because since i've had to have more time for this, i've had less time for the proper study and also less time for work and all, so yeah all that increases pressure. I just hope i can actually pull it off and get at least decent results. I mean i have a goal already, but i don't think i can reach it, but yeah i'm still trying for it anyway.

Tomorrow, finance exam and conception day...but yeah i'm not going to it due to the exam. Conception Day is exactly like Foundation Day for all you UNSW people, and for all you USYD people, well, you don't have one so yeah. It's been what, 100+ years of existence and you don't have a conception/foundation day? I've heard that it might be formed though...But anyway, need to concentrate on the exam and also getting the stat assignment done and also the practice set...many things to do...