Reminiscing

It's been a while since i've gone out and all, but yeah i tend to keep it that way until the end of semester. I really need to concentrate with what's on hand and all, and yeah i just need to do that really.

Was supposed to make this yesterday, but yeah i was too lazy. Anyway:

Friday

Did qmb and accounting work. Figured out that i'm quite behind for both of them. I'm having a bit of trouble understanding some things for qmb, but yeah that'll change i guess when i do proper study. Accounting is still accounting, not too much i guess, but yeah there are things here and there which i do need to work on, but yeah not too much in general i guess.

Apart from that, called Nicole just to see how she's doing and to inform her of stuff really. So we talked for a while and stuff so yeah that was good and all. For everyone doing their mid-sems, good luck!

At church, this friend of mine was telling me about his high-school experiences and all. He's from the country and yeah they have weird, weird things there. Like for one, a male science teacher was carrying one the most powerful magnets you could buy in his pockets, like one in each pocket. Then all of a sudden he just saw the teacher drop down on floor and heard the guy squeal and say "help" in like a really girly voice. So yeah as you can see, pretty damn painful.

Another thing pretty dangerous was when they used to throw javelins. Yeah you just throw it in the open field and then you go get it again. Well one dude was on his way, and then all of a sudden he's on the ground, face first, with a javelin in his back. Nasty. Well that's country life for you. Nasty.

Today

Not much really, did qma and qmb work. Still need to finish off some qmb things and do the accounting practice set as well argh.

But yeah apart from that called Kev to sort out some stuff with some stuff, Sisi just to talk and Dave for the same reason really. Also popped over to Sarah's again just to pick up some stuff for my parents and also stayed to chat.

Tomorrow will be my last day of teaching for about 2 and a bit months. I'm taking baptism classes so yeah i won't be able to teach. I'll miss the kids, 'cause they're cute and they're so innocent. But yeah apart from that, well uni work and yeah nothing too much i guess.

I've just been thinking about everything that's happened recently for me, and just thinking about the good ol' times as well. Of course there's a huge difference and stuff, but yeah really i've been trying to find similarities because i'm sure that i've been through a time like this, in terms of work and socialising. Well work there isn't really anything that can compare to uni, i mean uni is uni, what more can you talk about...but yeah emotionally there are a few stages in my life that resemble what i'm going through now.

I'm really trying to find what happened with them to make me go through that, and so far it's still not there, as in i can't find what i'm trying to look for. It's probably been too long for me to remember exactly what happened. There are 2 times in my life that i've felt this way i know, but yeah the circumstances for those were understandable so yeah me going through crap was expected from that. I mean sure it wasn't their fault that that happened, but yeah i mean emotionally, i was cut. Right now, i'm not cut, but everything is distorted and clouded in my mind.

It's like when you've just tried to just go through life without any complications, well at least for a short time, and something just pops up out of nowhere. Sometimes it is your fault, sometimes it isn't. Right now, what's been happening falls into both categories. But yeah it's just that i see what's happened in the past and yeah just thinking about it and seeing if it still applies now. I can say that yeah it does apply now, well at least some of what i'm going through and yeah for me, not good. I don't want to feel this way, i don't want to stuff anything, i don't want to go through what i'm going through right now. In the end, with all of this crap, i'm the one who will be stuffed.

But really it's just something for me to deal with. Being torn and just warped in the mind ain't good. I've got my priorities straight and all, but yeah i'm doing them, but problem is i'm still distracted by what's going on and yeah not doing anything productive. Problem is that if i get this out of my mind, it's good for me by not thinking about it, but it's not a wise choice in terms of emotions grrrrr. I've been trying to control them for a while now, but yeah i can't. I'm not that skillful. Not yet anyway. But yeah it's really screwing with me so i'd really like to just cut what i feel. Not saying feeling is a bad thing, but right now with everything that i've got, it's really good thing that i do this.

Anyway, it's just something for me to deal with and yeah hopefully i'll get over it and hopefully what i'm going to do will be best for all i guess. It's not something that wise, but yeah it's really something that i gotta do in order to get this all over and dealt with really. Oh well.

Just a special mention to the 9/11 victims. Yeah i mean just 'cause a few planes crashed and all, it's changed the way the world works now. Pretty heavy and critical stuff.