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It's something that i've come across as something really useful i guess. Of course it's for my purposes and my beliefs. Something i've noticed recently i guess.

Today, nothing too much. The groups of fuckers were still the same. The group of 5 especially are still annoying as ever argh. It's come to the stage where the lecturer has told them to keep it down. She told them specifically to keep it down 'cause it was a heavy lecture today. She said it something like 3 times or something like that. So yeah that's one of the groups lol.

The group of 3 fobby people are really disintegrated. I seriously don't see them often anymore. They've been relatively quiet these days since they haven't been together during class. It's quite interesting since i expected them to keep talking like alot, but yeah they just haven't seemed to be all together at once in the same lecture. The 2 local chix were actually reasonably quiet. Usually, they take the back right corner of the lecture hall, but today, i took that up so yeah they sat in front of me, and that seemed to shut them up during the lecture. It's weird really. They used to come in early, and now they come in half way through the lecture 'cause they can't be stuff learning the theory stuff, but come only for the maths part of the lecture.

So thing is with them, it's just that one move and they've shut their trap. But yeah that's what happened with them. The 2 fobby chix weren't that bad today so yeah.

But apart from that, it's been pretty damn boring, got home, texted Sophie for a while, and yeah waiting for her call later. Then, i did some acct work, bits of micro and still not too much i guess. Need to do alot more micro since i've got an exam for it this saturday argh. Called Bo, Chris and Kev just to catch up about stuff and yeah, but yeah i should concentrate on exams.

There is something interesting regarding the title. Recently, i've acquired some information regarding a few personal issues that i'm facing right now. With this, i've really been thinking about who do i trust with what's going on with myself right now. I've been pretty reckless the past few months with who i trust and all, yes at the stupid party which i got pissed at, i did let slip to a few people what is going on. I'm suffering the consequences of being sadistic and having information passed around about you. But i'm also grateful that it has. It's taught me that i can only trust a few people. I mean sure everyone tries to get trust from everyone, but it's seriously not possible. Trust also takes time to develop, until the stage where you'd trust them with everything in your life. There's only a select group with that trust in my life.

It's just enlightened me with this fact. I've been pretty reckless, as i've said earlier, but yeah i think i'm also letting my guard down. The days where my crew and i were rocksolid are no more. I'm only good for my corruptive influence and death touch and what's left of the strategy, thanks to the co-operative with Tim. Of course, that's when certain situations require such actions. Everyone knows what keeps me from being totally sadistic. So yeah really i've been a let-down of our former glory. Of course the known people in our group still retain their attributes, but for most people on the sidelines, we've lost the touch. We've lost our edge on things. Especially for me as well. I'm that lost that yeah i'm not picking up on things anymore.

I'm losing it. I'm losing my mind too, it's not what it used to be. It's not as effective as it was during the glory days. I'm getting old argh. But yeah my main concern is that i have been pretty stupid in recent times and pretty lost too. I really am pissed of at myself for not being who i was before. That's the reason why the crew split - we were all but shadows of our former glory. We don't influence fear anymore, that's how bad it is now. There are more strategic geniuses within the group, those who were in training of the "perfect plan". These days, they'll get by me without me noticing what's going on. I can't see what's going on underneath anymore. Of course there are times were the stuff they produce is pure genius. They've moved on now. They're freelancers, so taking them on isn't a good thing. You'll need strong back-up to deal with people like that, when the situation calls for it. But my point is basically i rely on people more often than i used to, so i'm letting my guard down. For me, that wasn't supposed to happen. Especially when you're known as a sadistic bastard. I guess this is due to something new that's happened, but yeah all these minds have clouded what was once "the standard". It needs to be pulled back, refreshed, rejuvenated. It needs what was once the best to get back into shape. It needs a collection to be immersed with the purity it's missing. Think of something soon, you know all already.

I'm sorry for those who don't know what this means and what this explains. This is really targeted at a select group who have known what i've done and the extents to which the spread has impacted on people. Yes i know i've just confused everyone again with that last sentence. Really what i'm trying to say is that you need to know alot more about what's happened in my past to understand what's going on here. It's very vague but there are certain people who know exactly what i'm going on about.

Tomorrow, micro and qmb tute/prac. Need to study for micro too argh.

Last thing, i need responses soon. The sooner i'm back, the better. Restoration of balance. I've head of some stuff by some people who were once victims. I'm impressed. Thus, the restoration of balance is needed. Get me back...